my journey

i have no idea what is up with me.  Usually, i am pretty much in control of myself and am able to handle the things that life throws my way; however, this past week, i’m a wreck.  i am having enough emotional roller coaster rides that you would think that i was living in Disneyland.  The funny part is that i tell someone else that she doesn’t know how to deal with emotions, when in truth, she’s not the only one.  And i don’t even know why i’m so messed up lately.  i can’t even decide which is easier talking or hiding.  Actually, hiding is easier, but at the same time, i know that i need to talk.

i really have no idea what to do or what’s really going on.  i have a huge gapping hole in the heart of me and it is just full of emptiness.  I have never felt that before, and i mean never.  And that’s a hard one, i don’t know what to do with it or how to fix it so i can function.  It is effecting everything that i say or do.  But i don’t get it, i know my place and i know where i belong.  These are things that i know without question, so why am i hurting so much?  It doesn’t make any sense to me.

Thank God, today has been quiet and peaceful.  i don’t think i could have handled another upheaval.  Actually, i know that i couldn’t.  Some peace and quiet was just what i needed and thankfully just what i got. This last week has been one that i don’t want to repeat. i have been busy today promoting Master’s book and web site.  It is going very well, and i am so proud of Him.  i know that things are going to go very well.  Now, if things can stay quiet all will be good.