Daily we have issues and problems that are beyond our control. We are told to stand up and fight back. But what is this “thing” we are suppose to be fighting. It’s an entity that there is no really fighting. A one-sided struggle in which there is no winner. It’s a battle within ourselves that we fight. This struggle can lead to an overwhelming internal battle. This battle for me at times is intense and since it lacks an outward focus, I generally internalize everything. So why when I don’t like my life being so out of control, do I crave to give up what little control that I do have? I don’t really know but here are a few of my thoughts that come to mind.

I love being tied up. I think, don’t know, but think that it’s the ability to feel and struggle against an outside entity..ie the rope…which focuses my internal battle on an outward object in a safe manner that doesn’t harm anyone…least of all me. I think that it’s also the one time where it’s not so such giving up control, but giving into the fact that there is no control. It’s an illusion of the mind, and by letting go of that illusion if only for a time allows for the release of all the pent up emotions that have been internalized in that illusion of having things under control. I don’t know if that makes any sense but it’s just my thoughts.

And as I struggle with my own thoughts, emotions, and issues in my life and the more out of control that I feel the more that I crave that time when I am able to give into it and release everything. To let go of all illusions, and let’s face it…it’s a release in more than one way.