my journey

Sometime i have to remind myself how hard it is for people to breakaway from a bad situation.  So often i have watched people in the middle of a trainwreck and try to council them to save them from their situation.  Yes, i cant help myself, i’m a fixer.  i try to help people, it’s in my nature.  Some relationships it’s so easy to see that one should get out of, the physically or mentally abusive relationships…those are ones that it’s so easy to convince oneself they should move on, and even those relationships are hard to move on from **trust me, i have first hand knowledge on that one**.  But the most difficult ones are the ones where there is nothing outright wrong…but the situation is just not right.  It’s like a frog in water, and the heat keeps getting turned up.  It’s trying to help those that are in that type of situation that’s just so difficult, and many times i find myself banging my head against that wall.

It’s painful to watch someone’s life slowly fall apart; watching the person that could be disappear before your eyes, all the while knowing there is nothing you can do about it until they decide that they have had enough.  It’s a slow poison that draws their strength and energy.  But at some point even a friend has to make the choice to continue to watch or to remove themselves from the picture until such time as the light bulb finally goes off and they come to you for real help.  Knowing when to step away, and when to step up is tricky, there are some friendships destroyed forever because one has no choice but to walk away from the situation.

There are a million and one excuses for staying in relationships that are in a slow boil.  It’s just a rough patch…there has just been so much going on…work….school…family; but when we get through it…our relationship will be so much stronger.  All of those can be and are valid reasons; but to be believed, there should be action to back up the hope.  To me, without that, then it’s only talk.

Sometimes even friends must breakaway from a situation, and come back when things are done falling to help pick up the pieces.  Friends can only do so much and be there on something for so long before it’s apparent that someone isn’t ready for the help offered.

i have seen this question posted in hundreds if not thousands of different places. i used to have a position on it, where a sub retained certain control over her life and a slave didn’t. Simplistic and down and dirty but the basics work. But my definition has changed a bit as i have grown in the lifestyle.

i am a slave, not because of some definition someone made but because that’s what my Master says i am. i have been told by other’s that such and such is not the actions of a slave or that some of my mannerisms where not slave like, and these statements would cause me great distress. But as i have grown in the lifestyle and in my life with my Master i have learned, although occasional setbacks arise that is doesn’t matter what others call me as long as my Master calls me His.

So call me a sub, a slave, even vanilla, it doesn’t really matter. Because the only name that matters is HIS, and as long as i am HIS, i am happy.