i need You

 

Space Cadet

Yeah, i got to play space cadet today.  lol, i went to the Kennedy Space Center, not sub space..although that would have been grand too.  i remember growing up as a child wanting to be an astronaut and telling everyone that would listen that i was already well ahead of the game, cause everyone said i was a space case. Okay, i realize that sounds corny now, but as a joke from a six year old it was pretty funny.

i remember the day that Challenger blew up, and i remember the day that Columbia disappeared. Both had a strong impact on me and i know that i will remember the day of the final shuttle mission.

It was wonderful to watch my children look at everything with awe and wonder.  Watching the world expand before their eyes was one of those experiences that i will keep with in my heart for a long time.  mmmm, my oldest now cant decide if he wants to be a fighter fighter or an astronaut.  Both are noble professions and i know he would be great at either.  Thank goodness he likes school and is good at math.

it was a good outing for us and i enjoyed myself immensely, although i’m very tired now.

 

My Little Imp

i came a across this photo and it SO reminds me of my little imp.  At 5, he can wrap just about anyone around his little fingers.  He is the most troublesome and yet sweetest boys you will ever meet and is entirely to bright for my own good.

But there is nothing like being awoken at 5am with the little imp crawling into my bed and giving me a huge hug all the while asking if i’m awake yet.  Then once it’s been established that yes indeed i am awake.  “mommy i love you….can i have a cereal bar?”  The little imp LIVES on cereal bars.  i think he could go through an entire box a day.

So as you can see, that picture is pretty much the essence of my little monster child, whom i love dearly.

 

A New Day

Sleep is a good thing.  i actually slept last night.  No dreams, no nightmares, no anxiety…just slept.  i think i was exhausted, yesterday was an emotional day all the way around.  Not only did things in my own world explode, but i had someone else bring their explosion to me as well.  Needless to say, i was overwhelmed and taxed beyond what i could even begin to think to handle.

Knowing i was beyond being able to handle the explosion that was not my own, i called my friend and told her to get her explosion.  Even though it was difficult for my friend to do as i asked, as she has no car and had a meeting she was required to attend…she found a way.  Bless her, instead of being upset with me and my inability to handle the situation, and how difficult it was for her, she was understanding and supportive.  Actually asking me how she could help me.

i was shocked.  i was feeling guilty for yelling at my friend.  *And i was yelling at her…although telling her that majority of my yelling wasn’t stemming from what was going on with her.* i knew i put her in a difficult position with her having to try and find a ride over to my house and collect her little explosion.  But she wasn’t upset…she was understanding and she took care of it.  It’s something that i wont forget anytime soon either.

So what’s on tap for today?  Well, i started rearranging my living room last night. Wow, it’s amazing how much of a mess one can make while rearranging things.  i think i’ll like the new set up, but first i need to finish everything.  Most of the living room is still a disaster.  So that’s the plan for the day…finish the living room. After the living room, well, i should tackle the kitchen at some point, but that may be a task for tomorrow.

One step at a time, one minute at a time.

 

Dreams Do Come True, Who Knew!!

There are not words to describe the peace and joy that my Master has brought into my life. During this week all fears and doubts have simply vanished and my path is completely clear. As i started my journey to actually see my Master for the first time, i was full of trepidation as i was unsure of my ability to not only do but comply with all that my Master would ask of me. My fear of rejection was not only overwhelming but irrational as well.

Fortunately for me, my Master was not only everything that i had dreamed Him to be but He was also more than i had even thought to hope for. There were no surprises to His character, He is every bit as genuine as His posts. Rare it must be to find someone online who is as genuine, straight forward and honest as my Master. What you read and see of Master is exactly what one gets and so much more.

This week was full of so many “firsts” that they are too numerous to mention, but all were guided by a careful, watchful and reassuring eye. Some firsts which i had previously thought would be difficult simply melted away in His presense. Almost to the point that i now feel very foolish, but i remind myself that having not been in those situations i had no idea what to except.

Now, i return home with the confidencethat i can not only do what my Master wants, but that in His presense i can do so much more than i ever thought that i could. i have absolutely no doubts or reservations about moving anymore. The questions and fears about if i was doing the right thing for not only myself but my children as well are gone. There is a feeling of completeness, rightness, and purpose that is to strong to deny. Intuition and instinct are working together with a driving passion and intent that only a fool could ignore. And i maybe many things; however, a fool is not one of them. i know that there is no better place for me than with Master. With Him, i shall always grow and learn new things as i continue to attain more knowledge on the things already undertaken. Not only will my body be stimulated and challenged but my mind as well.

My departure was rough and not one i had ever expected to experience again. Before my journey started i had never wanted to let anyone get that close to me again, i had experienced enough pain and heartache that frankly i was done with it. However, my heart, mind, and soul are firmly in His hands, and i am so very fortunate to have them there as i know that there is not better place for them to be.

If there can be a joyous melencoly that is what i am feeling now. My heart is torn as i would love nothing more than to run back into my Master’s arms; however, my heart also sings with the knowledge that i am His just as surely as the collar i wear. And i shall be returning into those arms, smile, and all that Master is soon, and even better i will be there to stay.

i know that i will always be safe, no longer afraid to take the steps in life, but i can move forward with confidence and grace knowing that every step is watched over and guided by my Master. Although, i know that there will be bumps along this journey, i am confident that all things will be dealt with in a fair and appropriate manner.

For so long i have proceeded online with everyday becoming better than the last; just watching and waiting for the burst of the bubble that would shatter everything. Nothing could be this good, this right, and i tried to prepare myself for that moment. Who has really ever had their dreams come true? Well, amazingly, i can say with all truthfulness that i have. Although that once filled me with trepidation that it would fall apart, it now brings me a peaceful heart that is full to the point of bursting. i wish that everyone could experience that feeling of peaceful, safe security that now fills my being.

Bright sunny days are going to remind me of Master’s smile and the mischievious twinkle that resides in His eyes, and on those days when things seem dark and gloomy, i have the same memories to bring sunshine into my heart.

LOL…and on a side note, now that i have written a book; i can see His smile and hear His laughter as He glances as it’s length and the words it contains. i am a quiet person and relatively reserved person and not one to show my emotions very well let alone share them. i am good at doing things but not telling them. So thank you for allowing me to share with you while i tell not only Him but everyone just how special, wonderful, and amazing i think my Master is, plus so much more.

Thank You Master…i adore being owned by You!!!!!!!!!!!!!